Afraid of Something? Conquer it with a Calm Confidence!

One of my favorite motivational speakers Les Brown, once said; "Just step right into your fears and push yourself forward because once you do; it will enable you to transcend yourself"

When I was about six years old my dad helped me learn a wonderful lesson about facing my own fears. We were staying at our family camp and for two days straight I begged him to let me take out the canoe by myself.

My dad finally stopped what he was doing and looked straight at me, widening his eyes and raising up what my siblings and I referred to as his "flaps". I knew with every cell in my body that those deep forehead creases meant that he was being serious and I'd better listen. He then told me that I'd have to go for a little paddle with him first.

We put on our life jackets and then we took turns climbing into our little red paint chipped canoe. We began to paddle and paddle and paddle; far away from the shore.

I asked my dad where we were going because we usually stayed along the shore. He kindly explained to me that taking the canoe out alone meant that I needed to be aware of more than just the shore.

He was quiet as we continued to paddle towards the center of the lake. My throat was filling to the brim with a terrible fear that was abounding outward and was almost as deep as the mirrored water beneath us.

I tried multiple times to swallow hard in an attempt to relieve this panicky feeling. I was trying so hard not to shake as I paddled with him through our blanket of silence towards the unknown.

Once we reached the our destination, my dad asked me to carefully lay my paddle down on the canoe floor and to turn around to face him because it was finally time to talk about how to operate a canoe.

He spent some time pointing out several ways to be safe, what to watch for and how to react should something happen. The longer he talked, the more comfortable I felt about being out in the center of the lake in our little tippy canoe.

He verified as he always did that I had listened; by asking all of his follow up questions. I passed his test and I truly thought the toughest part was over.

Smiling to myself,  I began to imagine being back along the shore line and goofing around in the canoe.

Then he brought me right back to the lesson at hand by firmly announcing, "There's one last thing,  we need to do"  He asked me to take off my life jacket, and so I reluctantly did.

Next he leaned forward and whispered, "On the count of 3, we're tipping this canoe over and I expect you to meet me underneath the canoe in the air pocket for one final lesson."

Immediately, I felt a rooted resistance and a raw numbing sensation rip through the center of my body; it began to throb right up into my head and I heard a loud humming in my ears. I knew from my former lessons with my dad that staying calm and just going with it; seemed to work so much better than freaking out.

Therefore, I took a few deep slow breaths as he rocked the canoe. He began to softly count out loud 1, ....2,..... and then on the count of 3;  I exhaled just as we flipped over into the water.

And yes, I did scream, just the way any six year old girl would as she falls into the water but I knew from his guidance what to do; so I remained calm just like his whispers.

As I began sinking beneath the water's cool, dark surface I felt really GOOD because I fully believed that I could do whatever he had just taught me.  I was no longer terrified and my actions were seamless as I did exactly what I was supposed do when a canoe flips over and you have no life jacket.

Years later, as I reflect upon this event; I understand that the frightening signals my body gives me are really a gift. I know that should those fearful sensations ever return;

that I have a choice. I can let that fear control me or I can decide to control it. I also know from past experiences with fear that the worse things that I've imagined never really happened so there was no need to overthink anything in the first place. From now on, all I need to do is to stay calm and just face any situation with confidence; knowing that I will be just fine; no matter what happens.

So, what if every time you were afraid of something;  you just stayed calm and really faced it head on? And if you feel you're in need of some support, I encourage you to make it a priority to connect to someone who can help guide you, preferably someone you know and trust or someone who is a subject matter expert on the type of situation you're facing. Then you too, can conquer just about anything you want to with a calm confidence.

As Always I  Am Wishing You Wellness,

Raeka